All in the name of kinky sex
by antra
Summary: S7, the episode where Kitty doesn't cook anymore as long as Red isn't willing to spice their sex life up. I see the episode I wonder how stupid Red and Eric really are.


**All in the name of kinky sex  
**_Humour. S7, the episode where Kitty doesn't cook anymore as long as Red isn't willing to spice their sex life up. I see the episode I wonder how stupid Red and Eric really are.  
Oh yes, nothing belongs to me. _

The strike was over, Red and Eric were looking forward to their first dinner after the „Joy of Sex" debacle, or, as Red called it, the „time we will never talk about".

Both male Foreman's looked irritated up when Kitty put the biggest portion on Steven's plate, letting him grin when he saw their faces.

„Thank you, Mrs Foreman."

He ignored the others and tucked heartily in.

Eric looked from his smaller portion to Hyde's plate, big enough to feed a small army.

"Mom, are you still on cooking strike. Is this just a different version?"

Kitty looked at her son surprised. "Why sweetie, is something wrong with the dinner?"

She sounded distressed by the idea that there could be something wrong with the food, but a quick glance to Steven reassured her that everything was alright.

Jackie came in and saw the family sitting there, after a quick glance she smiled and sat herself on Steven's leg, stealing food of his plate.

"So Mrs Foreman, you were right. They really are as stupid as you thought."

Red and Eric looked up in alarm, Red was ready to put his foot up the loud one's ass… before he remembered that she was a girl.

Hyde smirked, knowing himself to be on the safe side of this argument, firmly with the females.

Kitty's high laughter rang through the kitchen. "Jackie, they have other qualities." A stop. "I'm sure."

Eric looked to his mother, totally shocked at what he was hearing. He had qualities. And what were they even talking about?

"What are you talking about?" came Red's loud and sharp voice.

Eric just nodded.

Jackie ate more from Hyde's plate.

"When Mrs Foreman told me she would strike by not cooking anymore I told her that that wouldn't work. That you could live on cereal and milk or sandwiches for a while."

Eric closed his eyes in shame. He hadn't even thought of that. However he didn't dare to say something, knowing Red hadn't thought of this either.

Jackie munched on a few French fries. "And even if you wanted something cooked, you just had to ask Steven. I mean, he _is_ a former chef."

Red and Eric both looked to Hyde, having totally forgotten that little fact.

They knew he could cook, hell, as far as Eric remembered Hyde always could cook. Something to do with Edna and her lack of interest in her parental duties, and Hyde's distrust concerning her cooking. He was even the only one of "the children" his mother trusted to go to the Piggly Wiggly to buy groceries without her, the way she spoke of the store it was a warzone.

Hyde grinned. "We betted. Jackie thought if you are hungry, you will remember. I thought you would have at least enough common sense to go to Fatso Burger or somewhere else for food."

Both male Foremans realized how stupid they had been.

"And Mrs Foreman betted that the fact that she went on strike would confuse you up to the point of not thinking of all the obvious ways around this."

Kitty glowed in her victory. Eric didn't know if it was good or bad that his mother knew them that well. She had betted on their level of stupidity – and won.

Hyde's smirk alone told him that he would never live this down.

Fez not only worshipped Kitty, creepy and perverted as he was he would be all for Kitty and her quest for different sex, so he couldn't expect help there the moment he heard.

Eric knew that Donna wouldn't be on his side either; her feminist self would be appalled that they weren't even able to survive on their own without his mother.

But the worst was that he knew in the same situation even Kelso would have done better. He would have gone to Fatso Burger or the Hub the moment after his mother told him that there wouldn't be dinner.

"Steven, you lost our bet," remembered Kitty with a giddiness that made Eric feel with his adopted brother. Whatever the stake had been, it couldn't be something good.

Hyde sighed heavily but just nodded. He couldn't decline his adoptive mother anything.

Kitty smiled in Red's direction.

"Red, Steven will teach you how to cook 2 warm dishes for yourself with things we always have in the house."

"If you want me to be able to cook, why won't you teach me?" came from Red.

And there it was again, the typical high Kitty Foreman laugh – echoed by hysterics everywhere.

"Red, I've seen you with a pan. And not cooking, just 2 dishes so you won't starve yourself again."

For Eric there was something wrong with that.

"Mum, why only Red and not me. I will be the first one to starve to death after all."

She had this insincere smile on her face that told him however bad Red was in the kitchen – and he was, definitely, Eric himself was worse.

"I leave that to Donna, sweetie."

Jackie stood up from Hyde's lap and looked back to him.

"Steven, I'm in the basement waiting for you. I think you won _our_ bet."

The way she glided to the basement steps made clear that whatever Jackie's and Hyde's stake had been, she wasn't sorry to have lost.

Eric looked back to his father, his partner in total defeat.

How could he have forgotten Fatso Burger, he had worked there in the past, and the Hub, they had been there nearly every day after school.

With determination he decided to ignore this whole episode. Like Red had said, they would never talk about this again.


End file.
